Kiss Me, I'm Irish!
by The Almighty Ro
Summary: Based on a personal experience, though there was no kissing on my account. It's St. Patrick's day in Konoha, and Naruto can't figure out why he keeps getting kissed. NaruSasu


Okay, I know that the last thing you need from me is another one-shot, but I'm seriously working on updating my other fics that need updating. More specifically, Rose Colored Moon. Demoness Diary I may discontinue and delete from the site, but for now, nothing for that one. I am in the middle of typing chap three for that, but I lost interest. R.C.M. I really have no excuse for, since I wrote it out ahead of time, so I'll just say this: I'm lazy and in high school. Try being a junior and have a secret life as a writer, but that's me trying to forge SOME kind of dignity. Eh, whatever, I give up. I'm just lazy.

Shio: Damn straight!

Ro: looks at Shio I thought you got your own account. What the fluck are you doing here?

Shio: glares I do have my own account on but I just like to bug you Ro-chan.

Ro: rolls eyes Whatever. DISCLAIMERS!!!

Kakashi: pops in from Nowheresville Ro-chan doesn't own Naruto or its characters. The experience, however, is completely true, so you can laugh at her.

Ro: Kakashi-sensei! That's mean! cries

Kakashi: shrugs and gives Ro Cheezits Ma, ma, you're the one who wrote this, not me. goes back to reading Icha Icha Paradise

Ro: sniffles and eats Cheezits I hope Iruka-sensei makes you sleep on the couch!

Shio: Just start the fic already, Ro-chan.

Ro: Whatever.

Enjoy, su!

**Kiss Me I'm Irish!**

It was supposed to be like any other normal day for Team 7: they would receive a D-class mission, Naruto would get scratched by a cat, Sakura would flirt shamelessly with Sasuke, Sasuke would ignore her and start a verbal match with the aforementioned blonde about him being an idiot, and Kakashi would be enthralled with the latest edition of Icha Icha Paradise. Well, it was semi-normal in that respect, except for one thing…

"Why the hell is everyone wearing green?!" the vulpine blonde shouted at the top of his lungs when their mission was over and they were relaxing at the Ichiraku Ramen stall. And indeed, everyone was wearing something green; from Sakura's hair clips to Kakashi's four-leaf clover pin on his Jounin vest. Even Sasuke had joined the throng-not something that happened often-and donned a green shirt with matching green arm thingies. (A/N I don't know what their called, so work with me.)

"Hn, dobe," the Uchiha muttered under his breath, eating some of the noodles in his bowl without making a mess. That seemed to piss off the Kyuubi vessel even more, but he said nothing on it. "It's St. Patrick's Day. Don't you look at your calendar?"

Naruto turned red from anger and embarrassment when he realized that, that annoying bastard was right. Damn, how could he have missed the date? He had it marked so he didn't have to go through another pinching fiasco like last year. So far, it was not very successful.

"Ma, ma Naruto, how could you forget after last year?" their silver-haired sensei clucked, making the pink Kunoichi beside him giggle at the memory.

"How is he supposed to remember, sensei? We've been swamped with missions, both C- and D-ranked!" she said, jumping to the boy she now considered a good friend's defense. "Maybe you should give us the day off so Naruto-kun can find something green so he can save himself?"

Kakashi grinned at the ingenious Kunoichi through his mask, his one visible eye crinkling with the movement. Ah, so his new partner in crime was going to try and initiate their plan today, hmm? Well, if she wasn't just the evilest little thing ever. "Hmm, that might be a good idea, Sakura-chan. Perhaps we should…" he trailed off slyly, winking his eye at her.

Sasuke caught the movement out of the corner of his eye, and raised a delicate eyebrow at the two. He knew Sakura wasn't the catty bitch she had been when they'd first become team mates, but something about that glint in her sea-green eyes made him uneasy; almost like…she had an army of fangirls at her command. shudders

Naruto, however, was oblivious to this as he stared starry-eyed at his female team mate.

"Alright, you three may have the day off," Kakashi finally said, his eye now a crescent moon with his hidden-but-wide grin.

Naruto cheered that his sensei was the best and promptly ran away from the stall and back to his apartment to find something in that damning color. Sakura decided to leave seconds later, saying she and Ino had something planned, and left the two alone. There was a long silence.

Glaring side-ways up at his sensei, the Uchiha decided to voice his thoughts. "What are you up to?" he growled.

If possible, Kakashi's eye crinkled even more. "Just some 'research' for Jiraiya-sama."

End Flashback

And that was how Naruto's day had started out, with out the final words exchanged between Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-teme, of course. Since then, he had torn his apartment apart and gone to every store in Konoha looking for something with a small semblance to that ever accursed color that seemed to be the bane of his existence every year. Yes, he Uzumaki Naruto, did not own a single piece of green clothing, or even a scrap of cloth to tie to his hitai-ate.

Of course, this was not the problem at the current moment; oh, no! His problem now was that now everyone he passed kept giving him a kiss on the cheek whenever he stopped or waved at someone he knew; even Kiba had given him a big wet one (literally), and he was as homophobic as they came! And what made it worse, was that shy little Hyuuga Hinata (blushingly) and stick-up-his-ass Neji had given him one! If he didn't know any better, he would have guessed the villagers had come up with a whole new way to try and run him out of the village, I mean, they couldn't be if his friends were kissing him, right? Right; besides, at least they weren't pinching him anymore.

Come to think of it that had stopped happening shortly after…

Flashback

Something was tickling his forehead; he could feel it through that wonderful haze known as sleep. Wait, why was he asleep to begin with anyways? Had he been training all day with Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan, and Sasuke-teme again? No, he remembered now; today was St. Patrick's Day wasn't it? Yeah, that's why he was asleep right now; because he had been trying to find something green to wear and he'd ended up running all around town only to end up with naught. Damn, he really wished that old hag would outlaw that stupid holiday so that people like him wouldn't run around the entire village looking for something green only to fall asleep under a tree, thoroughly exhausted, and wake up to find something was tickling his forehead…Wait, what _was_ tickling his forehead anyway?

"Stop Forehead-girl, you're gonna wake him if you do it too hard," a familiar voice hissed to someone. Was that Ino?

"Shush, Ino-pig, I know what I'm doing! Tsunade isn't training me for nothing you know." Sakura-chan?

He heard Ino scoff and decided now was the time to open his eyes to see what was going on.

"What are you two doing?" he groaned and sat up. The two girls eeped and jumped away from him immediately.

He heard a nervous laugh come from his pink-haired team mate before she answered his question. "Ano…we were just making sure you didn't get left out here and catch cold," she said, her face saying nothing but her eyes screaming her lie. Naruto just gave her an odd look.

"Right, and what was that weird tickling feeling I felt when you were 'waking me up'?" he asked, his tone disbelieving.

Ino answered quickly for her friend, but not too quickly as to arouse suspicion for herself. "We were using this," the platinum blonde answered, holding up a cat tail. Ah, so that's what it was. But if so, why did it feel like it was being pressed into his head?

Naruto just shrugged, determining that the subject was too troublesome to keep pursuing (Damn, he needed to stop hanging around Shikamaru.) and brushed it aside. "Whatever," he began, standing up and brushing grass from his bright orange jumpsuit. "I'll just go home and sleep. 'S not like I have anywhere to go today anyways and it's much too dangerous for me to be wandering around the village without anything green on today…"

Ino and Sakura nodded vigorously, starting to grin from ear to ear and unable to stop. Naruto gave them suspicious looks before shrugging and walking off, waving to them over his shoulder as he went. After he was out of sight and ear shot, the two girls let out sighs of relief.

"Ugh, I thought he'd never leave," Ino griped, plopping down on to the grass. Sakura nodded in agreement and silence descended for a few moments. The blonde then grinned up at her best friend. "So…you think he'll take the bait?"

Sakura gave a smirk to her friend. "C'mon, this is Sasuke we're talking about; why wouldn't he?"

Ino was silent a moment, a thoughtful look crossing her face as she dwelled on this. After another moment, an evil smile grew across her lips. "Wanna go watch the chaos then?" she asked slyly.

Sakura smiled evilly right back at her best friend. "You know it."

End Flashback

Of course, Naruto hadn't been around when the last part of that conversation had gone on, but he didn't need to know that just yet. No, but what he _did_ need was an explanation as to why everyone in Konoha had suddenly lost their minds. Yeah, that's it! He'd do some snooping to figure out what was going on in this whacked out village, and then he'd—

_Growwwwlllll_

Naruto blushed despite no one being around at the moment. Okay, so maybe his stomach took more priority over his current kissing crisis. Okay, food first, snooping later.

Humming lightly for some unknown reason, the vulpine blonde continued on his way down the street to his apartment, deciding it was much too dangerous to head back to Ichiraku's for more ramen (not that the manager would mind, him being his best and favorite customer after all). Yes, instant was just as good as home made, not that many would agree, but since that was just about all he could afford right now, he wasn't aloud to complain. Like he would; ramen was the food of the Gods! Who would dare slander it?

"Oi, dobe."

Of course, there was always Sasuke-teme.

"What do you want, teme," the kitsune spat at him, not turning lest he be provoked by the prodigies presence even further. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his team mate, obviously thinking along the lines of 'Doing what? Being an idiot?' Of course, the Uchiha did not voice these thoughts, having completely pure thoughts as to the reason for his seeking out the blonde. Really, they truly were innocent. Don't believe me? Okay, then watch.

"Iruka-sensei wanted me to check up on you to make sure you weren't lying in an alley somewhere," he said with a disinterested shrug, shoving his hands into his pockets for his trademark pose. "Said something about not wanting you to be left for dead after being pinched to death again."

Naruto shuddered, the events of the year before last playing through his mind. _That_ had been an utter fiasco.

"Alright, you've checked up on me. Now go," he hissed at Sasuke, turning his head in his direction slightly as small acknowledgement.

Sasuke, however, didn't seem to be listening as he was much to busy staring at Naruto's forehead with a sort of amused look on his handsome face. "I can't believe they actually went through with it," the Uchiha muttered more to himself than Naruto, confusing the smaller boy.

"What are you talking about? What did who do?" he asked, going to figure out what was on his face that had the Uchiha so amused. Maybe he had grass in his hair or something. (A/N Forgot to mention Naruto Hitai-ate is around his neck right now for some reason. Anyways, carry on.)

Sasuke looked annoyed at Naruto's stupidity, but his eyes were still looking at him funny. "Don't tell me you honestly haven't seen what's on your forehead, dobe," he taunted, deciding to tease him a little before telling him.

Naruto bristled at the insult. "Teme, why would something be on my forehead?! Why don't you just tell me and get it over with!" he yelled, flailing his arms around a bit.

Sasuke smirked at the invitation and was in front of the blonde within seconds, surprising him as he grabbed his arms and pulled him closer. "Just remember, you asked for this," he said before kissing him on the lips.

Naruto stood in shock as he let Sasuke kiss him (not by choice of course) and as he tried to piece together what the heck was going on. Okay, so Sasuke was kissing him, but he hadn't been the only one today, and he said something about his forehead. Plus, there was also the fact that he hadn't been pinched since he'd seen Sakura and Ino in the field where he'd fallen asleep…

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Franticly, he struggled from the Uchiha's grip, also successfully interrupting their kiss before it could go further. Sasuke would have none of it, and just held the kitsune until he gave up. "Why the hell would you kiss me, of all the people who've done it today, why did one of them have to be you?" the blonde whined, letting his head rest comfortably on his rival's shoulder without realizing it.

Sasuke chuckled at the blonde's lack of energy and he began to stroke his hair gently. "Let's just say I've had my eye on you for a while," was all he told him, to which Naruto responded with a small nod. A small smirk began to play his lips as he started his next train of thought out loud. "Which reminds me; I didn't know you were Irish."

Naruto stiffened when the moment was ended by the Uchiha's mocking voice. "What did you say?" he asked in a quiet, irritated voice.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, common sense telling him to stop, but we all know that when it came to Naruto, the Uchiha was as reckless as can be. "'I didn't know you were Irish'," he repeated. Oh, the humanity!

Naruto shoved Sasuke away with all his might, a pissed look adorning his cute (snorts) face. The older boy almost wanted to laugh; but that wouldn't be very Sasuke-like, now would it? "What the hell, are you talking about teme?! I'm not Irish," he hissed, clenching his fist until his knuckles were white.

The Uchiha raised his eyebrow once more. "Oh? Then why does it say so on your forehead?"

"What are you—" Oh, so that's what that tickling thing was when he woke up to find Ino and Sakura. Hastily, Naruto ripped his Hitai-ate off from around his neck and held it up to his face so that he could see his forehead in the metal parts reflective surface. His mouth hung open in an 'o'. "Oh."

"Yes, 'oh' pretty much sums it up doesn't it?" Sasuke said in amusement, wondering if the dobe really _was_ that slow. No, he couldn't be; not even Naruto could be that dumb.

"And it was Sakura and Ino who did this?" Naruto asked in numbed horror, realizing he had been kissed by maybe over half of Konoha because he hadn't realized during his mad search for something green.

But then, Sasuke had been proven wrong before. "Yes, it was Sakura and Ino." He was starting to get annoyed now; all he wanted was another kiss from the overly adorable kitsune, but his stupidity was starting to get to him. "Can we get off the street now? I don't think you want anyone else to kiss you while you're trying to process all that's happened."

The blonde nodded and allowed Sasuke to drag him towards where the raven assumed his apartment was located. Then, noticing something particularly delicious about the Uchiha's appearance, he stopped as an evil grin formed on his face.

"What are you—" Sasuke found himself silenced as his blonde's lips suddenly found themselves pressed to his in a rather sloppy kiss. Oh, he didn't mind the wetness of Naruto's first given kiss, but he was rather curious as to why he would kiss him back. He got his answer as soon as the other pulled away.

"So…I didn't know you were Irish too," the blonde said, trying his very hardest not laugh as he held up his Hitai-ate up for the Uchiha to see. Sasuke couldn't help but grin and shake his head when Naruto failed and started laughing, both heading in the correct direction of the blonde's apartment to wash the marker off of their foreheads, holding hands all the way.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was congratulating Ino and Sakura on a job well done, all three having just witnessed the cutest love scene they had ever scene. Oh, and it had been executed so well too!

"So, what was it you two wrote on Naruto's forehead that bled onto Sasuke's?" the silver-haired man asked curiously as the two girls squealed over the pictures they had taken with a digital camera they'd had on them. Oh, they were going to send that to Jiraiya too, and maybe to Tsunade if she wanted to see bad enough.

Both girls grinned wildly, flashing him the victory sign. "We wrote 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish'," Sakura giggled as Ino brandished the grass-green marker at him.

Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. "Hm, simple yet ingenious," he commented, taking the camera from them to have a look himself.

"Heh heh, thanks," Ino grinned.

And so, St. Patrick's Day ended as normally it would for Team 7, or at least as close as it would get, what with the few differences. Soon afterward, however, the happenings were widely known throughout the village, and Naruto and Sasuke were left with annoyed glares for their team mate, her friend, and their sensei. Some things would never change.

**END**

Ro Rant: Hello, and welcome to the first of what is hopefully not the last Ro Rant. I'm obviously Ro, and today's ficlet is brought to you today by Naruto: because the stuff we write should totally be part of the show! Anyways, being that this is my first Ro Rant, what is it I should rant about? Ah!-how about how me and my fellow authors all seem to be too lazy to update? Sounds good, ne? Anyways, I know that I sometimes piss a lot of people off with my lack of updates for my stories (particularly the ones with more the one chapter), but that is really all due to lack of feed back. I love writing; it is one of the best ways in the world for me to have fun and relieve a lot of stress, but frankly, a review every once in a while would be nice too. Now that I am a full-fledged author on the site, I recognize the almost desperation my fellows have when they beg and plead for reviews; some never update because no one gives them one, and others have become almost desperate. Which is why I review almost every story I read nowadays (those I like, anyways). But anyways, not doing this to be annoying, just to raise awareness about suicidal authors snorts at inside joke and how we all feel underappreciated. Oh, and to be funny, but odds are I'll piss people off anyways. shifty eyes Don't kill me! I'm working on updating too! points to Rose Colored Moon See! Third chapter is up! Just gotta type the fourth out, and you'll have another, and that won't be so hard because I've already got everything planned! Please, my loyal readers (if there are any left), don't leave MEH!

Shio: This has been a paid Service Announcement from the Almighty Ro-chan; please ignore her and continue about your day as per usual. As for the fact that she WILL make more Ro Rants…run away. Run away fast. And run NOW!!!

Ro: strangles the Shio Nuuuu! You're not allowed to scare my readers away!

Kakashi: looks on in amusement Ma, ma, Read and Review please. I'd like to go home now.

Ro: pauses in strangling Shio You leave when I say you can!...which I guess is now…

Kakashi: About time. disappears in a cloud of smoke

READ & REVIEW!


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